The Holidays are, as the song states, 'The most wonderful time of the year'. However for people suffering from eating disorders, their friends, and their families the holidays can be a time of exceptional stress and frustration. A multiplicity of family gatherings, work parties, and other social situations, which generally include and often revolve around food, can cause extreme anxiety.
For sufferers of Anorexia Nervosa, it may be more simple to hide and control their eating disorder during these times. It is relatively easy to come up with excuses for a small appetite. "No thanks, I ate before I got here" is often used for avoiding eating a meal. "Thanks, but no, I have a later engagement and need to save my appetite" can be thrown out for an earlier dinner or a work gathering, and "Thanks, but I have an intolerance to seafood (or whatever is being served)" can be used to avoid pretty much any type of food situation. Ironically, while these excuses are being used to cover up a potentially fatal illness, oftentimes people will be impressed by the 'self control' exhibited by the Anorexic individual. They don't understand the complexities of this eating disorder and the inability, or lack of willpower if you will, of these people to overcome their poor eating habits. The friends and family of Anorexic individuals often are oblivious to their suffering. If the illness hasn't been diagnosed and acknowledged, it may go unrecognized. This is particularly true in the early stages of an eating disorder. Another complication to recognizing whether or not someone is suffering from Anorexia is that for a person who has normal and healthy eating patterns, it can be normal to limit food intake at a holiday gathering and the same excuses that an Anorexic individual may use can also be used by healthy, fit people. The difference may be in how often these excuses are used and in knowing the person well enough to know if they are actually a healthy, fit person looking to maintain a healthy weight, or a person who is sick with a very serious eating disorder looking to lose weight unrealistically and unhealthily. Paying attention to your friends and loved ones and having the guts to speak out if you suspect a problem is very important.
Other eating disorders such as Bulimia and Binge Eating disorders may be more recognizable during holiday gatherings. For the bulimic sufferer, there is the telltale trip to the ladies room immediately after a meal. That combined with other typical signs of Bulimia such as sores on the fingers and sour smelling breath may be a give away. Although Bulimia is not typically thought of as being as dangerous as Anorexia, it comes with it's own set of problems. Bulimia may not be as immediately harmful as Anorexia, but the long term effects can be just as devastating. Bulimics are generally more difficult to pinpoint, additionally, because they are not getting any attention for their 'willpower' or ability to 'stick to a diet' like the Anorexic. On top of that, there is nothing glamorous about vomiting and other methods of purging. Bulimics may be able to hide their struggle with their eating disorder for years before the physical effects become obvious to the untrained observer.
Hovering around the appetizers you may find people suffering from Binge Eating Disorder. These people suffer from an inability to control their eating. But while you may think that the person who is scarfing down all of the petit-fours is the person with the Binge Eating Disorder, in actuality the binge eater often does the majority of their binging in private. Quite often binge eaters are obese due to the excessive amount of calories consumed. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for these people to receive derision and social ridicule for their illness rather than help. People don't understand the depth of their suffering and their need to eat to fulfill a psychological emptiness. These people need help and understanding just as much as those suffering from Anorexia and Bulimia.
During the holidays, the psychological warfare that is going on in the minds of Anorexics, Bulimics, and Binge Eaters is monumental. They want to socialize and be normal, but their anxieties about food often prevent them from participating in otherwise enjoyable social gatherings. The good news is that treatment is available and can be extremely effective in helping these people deal with their eating disorders. Observant and caring friends and family should share their concerns first with their loved one. If this is not well received, it still does not hurt to contact an eating disorders help line or discuss your concerns with your own physician. They can provide contacts and information for friends and family members to help their loved one get the assistance they need to overcome their eating disorder. While they may be unreceptive at first, often the eating disorder is a cry for help and eventually they will take the help that is offered. Above all, don't think that these problems are unimportant, a phase, or something that will go away on their own. True eating disorders are a much deeper issue than food. The Holidays are a great time to let your friends and family members know that you love them and offer to help them deal with their eating disorder. Letting them know that you care is often the first step on the long road to recovery.
